Puke in a pan...it's what's for dinner.

It gives me great relief to say that I don’t have a husband and children who hurl this question at me at 4:30 every night the way my father and my siblings and I did to my mother when I was growing up. However, like clockwork, every day at 4:30, my stomach grabs hold of its metaphorical broomstick and bangs on the ceiling, shouting “Eh! What’s for dinner?!” in a rough New York City accent (In this scene, the part of my stomach will be played by that repulsive green being in the Mucinex commercial, wife-beater tee and all.)

Usually "dinner" is some sort of starch, either rice or pasta, and a chicken breast, if I’ve remembered to thaw it in time. If not, that’s what the microwave’s Auto Defrost setting is for. About half-way through my meal, I remember that I neglected to make a vegetable, so I cram a handful of the pre-bagged, pre-washed spinach into my mouth. There, that’s my vegetable serving for the day.

I wish I had my sister’s culinary skills. She opens the cabinets, scans its contents, and 45 seconds later, will begin preparing the meal. Without fail, it is always delicious. I, on the other hand, have the culinary skills of a college student who adds Thai hot sauce to Top Ramen and calls it a meal. But I can eat like a trooper.

I try to branch out, but the culinary wherewithal is missing. Tonight's dinner was (supposed to be) chicken fettuccine Alfredo. It actually ended up being cooked chicken and spaghetti, thrown into a bowl. I then added spaghetti sauce, 1/2 of a small container of sour cream (the other half went in the alleged black bean dip I made yesterday; that was just mashed black beans, cheese, sour cream, and cumin), several handfuls of cheese until the pasta mixture looked cheesy enough, and Greek seasoning, again which was added until it looked like "enough." Once in the bowl, it looked like someone started eating it but changed their mind mid-chew. I popped it in a 350º oven for 30 minutes.

It still looked like someone was sick in the pan, but it smelled like pizza and didn’t taste too bad either. Now I have at least two more meals out of it.